#53 I met my younger self ♊
For coffee at 'The Southern Zodiac' - Every Phase - Follicular - the 44th cycle
Just like ‘the past’, the Taurus Chlorophyll art last month was ephemeral.
Then I left to meet my younger self for coffee, to celebrate the duality of Gemini season, mirrored by the element of air.
Here is what she said…
follicular phase
original cyanotype with mirror
(made with the sun, fire, water & hydrogen peroxide)
15 x 22
Original Cyanotype on Rives BFK
$700
Purchase Inquiry Here Or Book a call to learn more.
I met my younger self for coffee today.
We both were 10 minutes early—some things never change.
She was wearing boots with a baggy hoodie and sweats, trying to hide her body. I showed up in a dress with the same Doc Martens boots.
She ordered a double espresso; I brought a kratom seltzer.
She cried almost immediately, telling me how unhappy she was at home, and how she wished she could be free from her eating disorder, and how she died last month on her period. She asked me, "Will eating ever be easy? Will I ever be friends with food? Will Mom and Dad ever see or hear me?”
I leaned in close and said, “Just keep drawing. One day, food will be even better than a friend; it will be your medicine, along with your art.
As for your parents, one day you won’t need them to, but going through that loss will lead you to the person inside who will love you for exactly who you are, forever, and it won't feel so hard.”
She told me how angry she was. Angry how everyone turned the other cheek, watching her get beaten up, watching her die, silently, politely, doing nothing as her life fell apart.
I nodded and said, “your anger is sacred & one of your most loyal friends. I pointed to our astrological chart where Jupiter sat on top of Algol. Learn how to wield it and not only will it show you where your boundaries are, it will be a catalyst for infinite blessings in your life.”
She asked me how I made it this far. I hugged her and said, I did it with your help.
I made it this far because you listened.
(brief clip from my younger self chat with Cannabis School)
She whispered she’s finally been diagnosed with Endometriosis and just had surgery for it. They weren’t able to get anything. She felt so broken, so gaslit, so invisible.
She asks if she will ever be free from the pain…
“You can tell me the truth. It's ok to say no, you won’t.”
I smile softly and said, “Yes. You will heal yourself of Endo. I point to this Every Phase series, and this message I am writing now.
And now, we help others who live with not only Endo, but all chronic disease to let them know the truth about western medicine so they don't have to feel as alone as you do right now, and even better, so they alchemize their pain into power.”
She looked at me, tears streaming, and said, “I just want to be free.” I reached for her hand and said, “One day, you won’t ask, you'll claim it.”
‘I met my younger self’
Original Artist Proof
15 x 22
$350
Purchase Inquiry Here Or Book a call to learn more.
She sighed and said, I don't think anyone will ever see me or actually understand me. I leaned in and said, “You're wrong. I'm the happiest I've ever been now. I'm 7 years married to my best friend & soulmate, and it feels like looking in the mirror at someone you’ve known a thousand years. Every day we are together is like winning the lottery in our dream house on a lake with our 2 cats and pit bull. You'll get here. I promise.”
We hugged before she left, and I told her you didn't deserve anything you went through…
“You had every right to feel angry. All of your feelings are valid. However, one day in the future, you'll realize that the greatest gift you can give this world is your own self-realization. And all of this is what helped you get there.”
She handed me her camera saying, “let us begin.”
This is our last month in follicular season as we move into a watery Cancerian Ovulation for July.
Use this template.
Meet your younger self for a drink.
Share it here, or use it to come back home to yourself.
See you on the shores of Cancer season.
P.S. I didn’t use AI to write this.
Learn more about the Every Phase Series here
More info on the Follicular phase here