I faced my shit and healed myself, and I create art that helps others do the same.
But how did I get here?
Allow me to take a moment and share how I got to where I am today...
I grew up in Charlotte, North Carolina and began making art when I was around 17 years old. I started with pretty much nothing, and no formal training. My grades were shot, and I wasnât supposed to graduate high school. I literally drew a smiley face on my SATâs.
I was raised in a narcissistic & toxic family (check out NARP by Melanie Tonia Evans for narcissistic abuse recovery), and after experiencing sexual trauma, I became very sick with an eating disorder throughout high school, while developing debilitating pain with endometriosis (which I later healed myself of and wrote a book about).
In the midst of all of this, during my darkest days, I woke up one day and I wanted to draw. And I could. Like I had been doing it for years. It just came out of me. I became obsessed with light and shadow. How the light defines the shadow and the shadow emphasizes the light. These ideas showed up not only in my photography but in my life. I learned that you must embrace the shadow to experience the light.
I would come to realize later on that we canât even recognize what it is that we really want until we experience the unwanted.
That contrast gives birth to us feeling the joy from our own desires.
My high school, fortunately, had a darkroom and I began making my own pinhole cameras.
The photography teacher there, Ms. Lisa Holder taught me the foundation for everything I know today and had an incredible impact on my advancement.
With her help, I made a portfolio and as a âlong-shot attemptâ applied to SCAD-Atlanta. Even though I really only had about a year and a halfâs worth of education & artwork, I was accepted with a scholarship. The 35mm self-portrait above was one of my first, and one of the images in my scholarship portfolio.
~2005 first pinhole camera self-portrait (made from quaker oatmeal box)
SCAD-Atlanta is where I really launched into where I am today. I completed my Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA) in photography and continued to complete my Masters (MA) of photography in just one year. While I was there, I developed my own photographic process with scanography.
The process I invented started as a mockery of digital photography because I was so pissed about the digital 'takeover'.
It also served as a technical tool to help express some of the concepts my work centered around with ballet which was a huge part of my life growing up.
When I decided to make work about my experience in the world of ballet, I thought of the contradicting ideas of degradation, restriction and freedom. Being constrained by the scanner for these projects, as well as the degrading aspects of digital manipulation, I was able to translate the âaesthetic experienceâ of ballet into a degraded, virtual one.
This allowed people to see a perspective from someone on the inside looking out, instead of the outside world trying to look inward. I wanted the subject to become the ânegativeâ which related to these ideas technically and conceptually.
In older forms of photography, the glass served as the negative, or served as the transfer medium sometimes with paper positives, etc.
The process of putting people under glass and having them press different parts of their body up to it in order to achieve focus & depth allowed me to expand on the foundations of photography and experiment with their role in the digital world.
Also, the speed at which I move the scanner and the different combinations of light used to achieve a certain look directly related back to my early teachings of photography as the simple scientific and artistic combination of two things: light and time.
'Attitude' 24"x67" scanography archival pigment print on canvas. Installation in client Bill White's home.
Original 1 of 1
After graduating, I quickly realized the difficulty in pursuing these practices & a career in art.
I worked a slew of jobs just trying to survive and fuel my work. Most of the time 3 jobs at a timeâselling AT&T door to door, waitressing & night shift stock at Michaelâs just to name a few.
I finally was able eventually to get some commercial photography jobs shooting product photography at Oneup Innovations & Amazon (fabric.com) as well as various art reproduction & print labs. The last job I had before I decided to start my own business was at a place called PPR (Professional Photo Resources).
I rented photo equipment to people every day that needed gear for the job they had been hired for and had no idea how to even work a camera. We would show them sometimes how to just take a picture.
I made an important realization. I realized if someone is paying these people and they can support themselves with photography and are working for themselvesâwhat the hell am I doing standing here behind the counter with a Masters degree?
I knew that I could no longer work for anyone else. I decided âItâs not over until I winâ. I then combined all of my sales knowledge from the slew of jobs I had previously, reached out to everyone who viewed me in a positive light, and got to work.
I wasnât ready, but I just swung the bat and continue to swing. I started out with my business in my apartment, and now have my own studio. I continue to educate myself creatively & financially as not just an artist, but an entrepreneur.
Which leads me to my mission...
My art is really an expression of me, and Iâm really more than an artist. I have a mission.
My mission is to help others face their pain and see themselves for who they really are.
I developed this mission from facing my own debilitating pain every month dealing with Endometriosis for over 17 years.
I was told it was 'all in my head' by multiple doctors, went through surgery, a series of medications, and have actually crossed over to the other side from the agonizing pain.
After multiple near-death experiences, I reached a point where I knew that I needed to start honoring & listening to my body, and could no longer hide or be embarrassed if I wanted to truly live.
So In late 2019, I began to unravel all of the medical & pharmaceutical lies I had believed, educated myself on the female infradian rhythm, and healed myself.
I learned through my experience that all healing starts with being authentic.
I wrote an augmented reality interactive art book about it (titled Face Your Shit, Heal Yourself), have a podcast about the practices I employed (same name as the book), and I decided to 'live the art' as I create artwork & writing that illustrates what is happening in the brain and in the body while I live by the phases of the female hormonal cycle in my ongoing 'Every Phase' VLOG & Art series
No one achieves anything alone.
As an artist, there's no guidebook for what I do. Often no matter how hard you work and how talented you are, it doesn't always cut it on the path to art-stardom or even just financial survival/success.
It takes a tribe of caring patrons with impeccable taste (yes, YOU!) to make that big, big dream lift off the ground.
So from the girl who went straight into waitressing at Red Pepper Taqueria when she graduated with her shiny Master's degree in 2012... to the badass who sits here writing this email with nothing but gratitude for the opportunity she has to make a living creating art...
Thank You. I hope you truly know how much I appreciate every hard-earned penny you invest in me. And how much I appreciate you taking my life's work and putting your own meaning behind it. When a piece of mine comes into your home or business it then becomes OUR story. Because art is not what you see, but what you make others see...
See yourself for who you really are.
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Subscribing is free + you will be the first to receive all new art releases, the first to know about my upcoming shows, access podcast episodes + archived posts, shop all of my collections early, and I write a badass email.
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If youâd like the full experienceâŚ
I invite you to join my exclusive RENEGADES community.
ABOUT RENEGADES
We're all here cause we're not all there...
But If you're here, you're a renegade.
This is a private group to share creative information, ideas, exhibitions, participate in critiques, appreciate art & ask for a different perspective.
We welcome everyone who can be real with themselves and others-- a renegade practice.
In keeping with the ethos of the group, and to keep people who really care about these ideas, I have added a very affordable investment of $5 a month to become a member.
Whatâs included:
Everything included in the free email subscription â the 1st to receive all new art releases + shop all of my original & limited edition art collections early
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Submit & participate in monthly art reviews & critiques
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I do not take your investments lightly and hope you know that I greatly appreciate your support to my creative endeavors.
Letâs live the art, together.
Because when we heal ourselves, we heal our world.
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I have chosen to give 13% (why number 13? read here) of all my profits to Operation Underground Railroad to end child trafficking.
Donate + Learn more here.
Because God's children aren't for sale + Human Trafficking doesn't get to perpetuate in a world I'm in.
When you subscribe or purchase my art, you are helping this mission & our humanity.
